This journey has not been an easy one…

Step 6: I am entirely ready for God to remove all my defects of character.

Step 6 is not an action step that we actually take - it is a state of preparation that enables us to become ready to release our faults to God. Our willingness to surrender will increase. This enables us to reach the point in step 7 where we are ready to let God take over and remove our faults as He sees fit.

I am fighting my addiction on two fronts… dealing with a hunger deep inside of me and changing my thoughts of doing wrong. Neither battle is easily won… each requires daily readiness and willingness to allow God to satisfy my hunger and help me to overcome my defects of character.

In the past when I was upset I depended on my addiction to make me feel better. My addiction functioned as a place of shelter from pain. Facing pain without alcohol in the past year has been a new experience. I don’t feel like I am very skilled at it.  BUT facing this pain without relying on alcohol has be refreshing. I am finding out that I really am strong.

The pathway to recovery and finding new life involves the death process. The different means I used to ‘cope’ were ‘defective’ – giving them up have felt like I suffered the death of a loved one. I have had to take time to stop and grieve that loss. Sometimes I feel like I am past the grieving but then something happens and I feel like it starts all over again. The grieving process does not have a set time frame. It is different for each person and each circumstance. When the time of grieving is over only then can I journey on.

While experiencing the previous steps I have found pain inside myself – enough to break my heart. Facing the fact that brokenness is a part of the human condition can be crushing. But I know that arriving to this point is a sign that I am ready for God to change me. God is looking for me to mourn over my sins and my brokenness. Then He will not ignore my needs but will forgive, comfort and cleanse me.

I think about my numerous attempts of self-improvement. I have tried to improve my attitude, my appearance, and my habits. I have has success on some levels… but when it comes to my struggles with defects of character I seem to end up feeling frustrated and feeling like a failure. I think the problem is that character defects can never be improved they have to be fully removed.

Romans 6:6 says: Our old sinful selves were crucified with Christ so that sin might lose its power in our lives. We are no longer slaves to sin.

Galatians 5:24 says: Those who belong to Christ Jesus have nailed the passions and desires of their sinful nature to His cross and crucified them there.

As I allow God to remove these defects of character I can be assured that a new life awaits me. I know now that I will need to practice these steps the rest of my life. I don’t have to demand perfection but I can move forward and work to become what God wants me to be. God will strengthen and encourage me when I do.

Philippians 2: 12-13 says: Work hard to show the results of your salvation, obeying God with deep reverence and fear. For God is working in you, giving you the desire and the power to do what pleases Him.

Philippians 3:12-14 says: I don’t mean to say that I already achieved perfection. But I press on to possess that perfection for which Christ Jesus first possessed me… forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead, I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Jesus Christ is calling us.

How encouraging are the 4 verses in this message?  A message of hope! A message of assurance that our sinful nature was put to death on the cross!  Jesus paid that price for MY sins (or my defects of character).  For me, I see that there truly is a way out of this pit and a way out of addiction. Jesus is there to help me if I am willing to look at those sins, admit them, ask for forgiveness and accept His forgiveness.  I can press on… letting Him continue to expose roots of deceit and pain… he can heal those places but only when I acknowledge them and ask Him.

Walk with courage and know that God walks beside you. And when you feel like you cannot take another step, rest a bit and let your angels love you.