There is nothing we can do or confess to God that would cause Him to stop loving us...

Step 5: I admitted to God, to myself and to another human being the exact nature of my wrongs.

As I have worked through my recovery program I have gone through a process of accepting the truth about my life and the consequences of my choices. I had to open my eyes to my true condition – this happens in steps 1, 2 & 4.  

I fool myself into thinking if I can just stay busy my hurts or wrongs can go on without me ever having to admit them. These ‘seeds’ that were buried grow and bear fruit. Eventually I will have to deal with a crop of consequences and face that self-deception does not work to my advantage. “You will always harvest what you plant” Admitting the exact nature of our wrongs includes giving our accounts in exact and specific terms. I’m ready to pull up those roots and I’m ready to come clean and be forgiven. God wants me to receive immediate forgiveness.  Forgiveness awaits – I just have to receive it.

I must stop rationalizing my sins and admit the truth.  In step 5 we set out to stop the internal struggle and admit that wrong is wrong! There is no real freedom without confession. For me admitting my wrongs is the most difficult part of step 5. I walked through step 5 in treatment with Chaplain Greg.  I was not completely honest and open at that time.  I have since learned that this is a step I need to take again and again when I feel God prompting me to work on more areas of my life. I believe this is an ongoing step… should be for everyone… we are never completely free of sins so admitting wrongs has to happen over and over. I believe this works in layers… like an onion… layers are peeled off and new stuff is exposed… it’s an ongoing process until we die. I can also look at this as roots being exposed... as God exposes each root there is pain and with that pain will come a vision of what needs to be confessed and what needs to be worked through and cut off.

 I have found in my life I often condemn in others the wrongs most deeply hidden in myself. The kinds of instruments I use to measure my life will often determine the kinds of problems I uncover. God’s Word is my spiritual plumb line. When things don’t measure up it is important to admit I have a problem and start rebuilding accordingly. I am aware of the deep trouble, shame and pain my addiction caused me and my family. Shame has kept me in hiding – the thought of admitting my sins and revealing this to God and to another human being stirs up feelings of shame. But I do know Jesus is a person whom I can safely expose my secrets. My confessor needs to be someone who is not surprised by sin and will not be waiting to condemn me. There is nothing we can do or confess to God that would cause Him to stop loving us.

Romans 8:38-39 (NIV)
For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.