Step
9: I made direct amends to such people whenever possible, except when to do so
would injure them or others.
At
this point in my recovery, I can honestly say I have experienced some major
changes in my attitude. At one time I was so consumed by my addiction that I
through only of myself. At times I know I failed to show
any consideration to others. This step focuses on the interests and needs of
others. This step will be very difficult
as I face the painful consequences of past actions. During this time I need to
turn my life over to God, who always judges justly. I have not really worked
this step like I should have up until now.
I am going to start making things right with those God is leading me to.
Something
written in my journal for this step is: “When I was feeding my addiction it is
easy to become consumed by my own needs. Nothing mattered except getting what I
craved so desperately. I am well aware at this point in my life that within my
community and family I become known as a “taker”. I know my new life does not
excuse me from past obligations… I will have to face unfinished business of the
past. This includes offering to pay back what I owe, coming clean, and going
back to people from whom I ran away or hurt. The thought of returning to
someone I have hurt is a scary thing. The passing years, lack of communication,
and memories of anger and hurtful emotions exchanged all create a tremendous
amount of anxiety.
How
many people are still living in the shadow of our un-kept promises? Is it too
late to go back now and try to make it up to them? There are probably people we
know who have been affected by promises we have failed to keep. It is important
that we try to fulfill whatever promises we have made. When we can’t, the least
we can do is ask what our neglect meant to those we disappointed and apologizes
for not keeping our promises.
When
we walk down the wrong path in life, we end up in bad places and experience
devastating losses. If we go far enough down that path, we endanger our very
life. We may wonder if we have already gone too far. Is a new way of life
really possible, even if we turn from our old ways and make amends? There IS
hope for anyone who turns from sin and makes amends. Through Christ, our past
sins can be overshadowed by the new life ahead of us.
“Son of man, give the people of Israel this message: You are
saying, ‘Our sins are heavy upon us; we are wasting away! How can we survive?’ As
surely as I live, says the Sovereign Lord,
I take no pleasure in the death of wicked people. I only want them to turn from
their wicked ways so they can live. Turn! Turn from your wickedness, O people
of Israel! Why should you die?
“Son of man, give your people this message: The righteous
behavior of righteous people will not save them if they turn to sin, nor will
the wicked behavior of wicked people destroy them if they repent and turn from
their sins. When I tell righteous people that they will live, but then they
sin, expecting their past righteousness to save them, then none of their
righteous acts will be remembered. I will destroy them for their sins. And
suppose I tell some wicked people that they will surely die, but then they turn
from their sins and do what is just and right. For instance, they might give
back a debtor’s security, return what they have stolen, and obey my life-giving
laws, no longer doing what is evil. If they do this, then they will surely live
and not die. None of their past sins will be brought up again, for they have
done what is just and right, and they will surely live.
“Your people are saying, ‘The Lord isn’t doing what’s
right,’ but it is they who are not doing what’s right. For again I say, when
righteous people turn away from their righteous behavior and turn to evil, they
will die. But if wicked people turn from their wickedness and do what is just
and right, they will live. O people of Israel, you are saying, ‘The Lord isn’t
doing what’s right.’ But I judge each of you according to your deeds.”
~Ezekiel 33:10-20
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