One reason I chose to start blogging about my walk through recovery was to share some of my experiences and hopefully give other people hope and encouragement. And I truly believe that the 12 Steps are God given steps... I also believe they work in any walk of life and if you work the steps God will show you areas in your life He wants you to work on.
After reading this quote I realize I am still wanting to control some things that are completely out of my control!!!
The man I love: I still want to force the issue... MAKE him talk... GET the answers I think he OWES me... I want an apology and I want him to say he wants to start over... and WHY??? what is it going to really do for me?
My recovery: I feel like I should be further along than I am... I could be at 2 yrs sobriety this month IF I hadn't screwed up and relapsed... Sometimes I want to blame others... the people who I was with when I relapsed... the people who piss me off or hurt me and make me want to go buy a bottle of silver or vodka.... and WHY??? I know consuming alcohol isn't going to HELP me... it would just be another reason to hate myself and feel like I am a failure!!!
Unexpected things happen and are going to happen through out my life... I can only change me and my reactions to things as they come up. I don't want to hang on to things that have ended. I don't want to hang on to things that are bad for me. I don't want to hang on to the ideas of 'what could have been'.
So... I decided to go on... its going to take COURAGE and some days HUMOR and always grace... God's GRACE. I want to reach a place of CONTENTMENT and PEACE in all parts of my life.
Life goes on... I can choose to live it trying to control everything or I can give God all control and wait for Him to direct my steps!!!
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