Step
2: I came to believe that a power greater than myself could restore me to
sanity. (That
Power for me is God)
Step
2 means asking God to let me see things through HIS eyes rather than my
own.
"Step
Two is about faith- trust and believing. Faith isn't intellectualized- it just
is. Faith isn't manufactured- it's from God. Faith isn't earned- it's a gift.
Faith isn't optional- it's a must. Many turbulent and troubled waters await us
in our recovery. God knows that, and he prepares us by placing faith in our
hearts. When we finally look to God, we will already have the faith to believe
he is there."~ From “the Big Book”
Saying
“I came to believe” suggests a process.
Belief is a result of consideration, reasoning, and concluding. It leads
to action. When you see what doesn't work (everything you have done up until
this point) and as you look at the condition of your life and you want to
change it… this is the first step to recovery – belief, action and change!
I didn't choose my predisposition of addiction but I am learning I am still held
accountable for things I can’t control on my own. When I am under the influence
of my addiction - Alcohol - its hold seems to have a supernatural power… self-destruction
is the road I travel with booze. But
there are also things like doubt, worry, self-hate, fear, loss and inadequacies that I tend to travel
with along with the booze that hamper my walk with God… these influences that
are all from the pit of hell. In the natural progression of addiction life
degenerates.
In
the past two years I have felt like I am standing on the outside looking at
some crazy person living in my own body. I feel like I am two separate people. One
who knows right from wrong and understand my NEED for God and one who does all
the wrong things and hates the idea of giving up this life she loves and this sickness
that feeds and destroys her. I have struggled so deeply with this other person and she has
truly wanted control.
This
“hope step” as I have heard it referred to has taught me that now I have hope
that God can and will restore my sanity. I accept that I am powerless over my
addiction and I believe that God can and will restore my sanity. I know He will
do a work in me to restore ALL things – faith, fear, and insecurities – all those
things holding me in bondage. He is working in me to reveal all things good and
bad.
Faith
is key to this step… faith does not come easily to me. I tend to exhaust all
resources in trying to overcome or deal with things on my own. I must use
deliberate action – finding that faith that God CAN and WILL restore me. I
cannot afford to stand back hoping for a cure and avoid deliberate action
because of a lack of faith. When we come to believe in God we have faith to
take hold of our own recovery. I must be willing to work through the pain and
unfairness of life and still seek God… “Those who look will find Him – they will
also find the answers they seek.”
Recovery
begins when we display our broken heart to God and admit our sins. God will
help us make changes on the inside. When we are concerned with what we look
like on the outside to others we can’t deal with real problem hidden beneath
the surface. Our honesty can have a profound impact on those around us.
There
are two way of meeting difficulties… You alter the difficulties or you alter
yourself to meet them. ~Unknown
The
Lord really isn’t being slow about His promise as some people think. No, He is
being patient for your sake. He does not want anyone to be destroyed, but He
wants all people to change their hearts and lives. (2 Peter 3:9)
So
maybe you are asking what makes a person an alcoholic or how do you know if you
are an alcoholic? Well, the Big Book
says:
"If, when you honestly want to, and you find you cannot quit entirely, or
if when drinking, you have little control over the amount you take, you are
probably alcoholic. If that be the case, you may be suffering from an illness
which only a spiritual experience with conquer. Alcoholism is a fatal illness
one of which recovery requires revolutionary and drastic proposals.”
I
believe, because of the education I received in treatment that alcoholism is
an illness. ADDICTION is an illness… you
will either be an addict or you won’t and usually your ‘first use’ will set your
destiny. Is it a choice??? ADDICTION is NOT a CHOICE but the action of consuming
the “drug” or “behavior” I believe when it comes right down to it... it is most
definitely a choice. We have so many tools available to us today to overcome addiction.
This is a good informational site if you are interested in education and reading about the medical side of this disease. The first part of the website says:
Addiction
is a complex brain disease characterized by compulsive, at
times uncontrollable, drug craving, seeking, and use that persist despite
potentially devastating consequences. Addiction is also a developmental
disease; that is, it usually starts in adolescence or even childhood and can
last a lifetime if untreated. Disagreements about the nature of addiction
remain: namely, whether it reflects voluntary or involuntary behavior and
whether it should be punished or treated as a health issue. Even though the
first time a person takes a drug, it is often by choice—to achieve a pleasurable
sensation or desired emotional state—we now know from a large body of research
that this ability to choose can be affected by drugs. And when addiction takes
hold in the brain, it disrupts a person’s ability to exert control over
behavior— reflecting the compulsive nature of this disease.
People tend to look down on the addict…
believe me I understand… even the addict looks down on the addicts that are ‘worse
off than they are’ – sick huh? It’s true…
we all do it… we look down on people who we don’t understand or those we don’t
view as our equal or those we view as screwed up, a mess, a sinner… the list
goes on…
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